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Morr E.N. Tezz
Red Sabres catcher Morr E.N.Tezz made his debut at the start of Season I, and would become one of the biggest and most controversial stars of the league's first two seasons. Both Sabres catchers struggled in their first few disastrous matches, with each of them being injured so frequently that it was the fifth game of the season before both of them were back on the pitch at the same time. Once it became apparent that opposing teams weren't going to let up with the punishment, Morr E.N. Tezz hit the gym, and developed a build that wouldn't look out of place on a blitzer. He was no one-dimensional bruiser, though, and his strength was complemented by an almost elf-like agility. Stardom Morr's big break came in the Season I playoffs, when he was the best-performing player, and he scored the opener in the cup final victory over the Stinky Feets. Come Season II, he was at the heart of the Sabres offence, culminating in the 4-2 rout of The Johnnys' Quest in which he also scored the league's first hat trick. A disaster was just around the corner, though, and in the shock defeat to the daemons of MAIM KILL BURN he suffered a smashed collarbone which would dog him for the rest of his career. The injury didn't initially seem to impair his performance, though, and he compensated for it by developing even better ball-skills to become a catching superstar. So reliant did the Sabres become on his gameplay that he started taking on other roles in the team, too, filling in as thrower and blitzer, whether the coaches wanted him to or not. It coldn't last, and before long his showboating was starting to cost the team matches, while the money he demanded to remain on contract was also costing them a literal fortune. Morr always maintained that his lacklustre performances were down to drink-spiking by opponents, but it was generally considered more likely it was just an attack of the ego. With their best player functionally out of action for the last few games of the season, the Sabres scraped through the first round of playoffs, but were taken down by Hellbug's Heroes in the semifinal, a match in which MENT, again, was little more than a spectator despite holding onto the ball for much of the running time. Retirement Following extensive negotiations, in which the words "realistic" and "dumbass" were used more than might have been expected, Morr E.N. Tezz agreed to retire from active play before the start of Season III. Rumours that Mr. Tezz's agent required surgery to remove a copy of MENT's shoulder X-ray from a personal location partway through negotiations are completely unfounded. The Sabres retained him on contract as an assistant coach, although he has yet to do any actual coaching, and it's been suggested the only reason the team has done so is to benefit from his image and prevent his being poached by a rival outfit. Not long after the start of Season III, he was threatened with investigation into his personal finances and went on the run; although he hasn't been seen since, the Sabres offices have received a number of postcards from him, postmarked in sunny tax havens. Category:Players Category:Humans Category:Catchers Category:Hall of Fame Category:Star Players Category:Superstars Category:Coaching Staff Category:Retired Players